Spanish
In a culture where sex is promoted as a right, a need, and even a form of empowerment, little is said about those who practice it without really wanting to, just to please their partner. It is not about direct coercion or abuse, but a more silent and complex phenomenon: sex without desire, a practice more common than many dare to admit.
Sex, in appearance, remains one of the great themes of freedom, pleasure, and human connection. But there is a silent experience that many live without naming it: having sex without desire. It is not about external imposition or explicit violence. It is a decision that, although voluntary, arises from duty, routine, or emotional pressure. And although the body is present, the mind is often elsewhere.
This phenomenon is more common than it seems, especially within stable relationships or long-lasting marriages. Over time, sexual desire can fluctuate, and many people agree to intimate encounters without feeling genuine desire, simply to avoid conflict, please their partner, or maintain "normality" in the relationship.
Behind this behavior, there can be multiple reasons. Some people feel they have a kind of "responsibility" to satisfy their partner, and others fear that saying no will generate rejection, distance, or suspicion. There are those who have become accustomed to an idea of sex as a routine, without wondering if they are really enjoying it. Also, there's the emotional factor: sexual desire doesn't always disappear due to lack of attraction. Sometimes it's affected by stress, fatigue, monotony, or accumulated mental load. In those moments, some people choose to continue having sex without appetite, out of inertia, to avoid uncomfortable conversations, or to maintain an image.Although these types of encounters may seem harmless, practicing them frequently can generate negative effects: emotional disconnection, silent frustration, low self-esteem, or the feeling of living a "automatic" sex life, devoid of personal meaning.
It's not always about a crisis. Sometimes it's enough to recognize that desire also needs to be taken care of. It is not always available, nor should it be forced. Talking about what one really wants, establishing pauses, and rebuilding the intimate bond from sincerity can make the difference. Sex is not an obligation, nor a measure of relational success. It is an expression that takes on true value when it is charged with authentic desire. Wanting should be the starting point, not a negotiable detail. Because deep down, a fulfilling sex life is not measured by frequency, but by the truth with which it is lived. In an era where sexual freedom is celebrated, it's also worth remembering that saying "I don't want to" is as valid as saying "yes". Because good sex is not just what happens, but what is desired.
